Tuesday, January 02, 2007

2007: The Year of Lose

Here we are, fellow losers, faced with another year of lose. How can we possibly lose more than in the previous year?? Oh, that will be easy. It comes naturally to a loser. Rest assured, you will lose in 2007 like you've never lost before.

Now, here are a few ways i'm anticipating losing in 2007.

1. Deteriorating health. Of course as I approach the big half century mark, my health continues to plummet. And of course, I do nothing to prevent it. I could eat better, get some exercise. But to hell with it. If I croak, that could only make things better!!

2. Deteriorating health for my daughter. Being the pessimist that I am, it's only a matter of time before my daughter's CF starts to wreak havoc. It's been in control up till now, but let's face facts, inevitably it will happen. Won't it be fun to see her lung function deteriorate to nothing!! Won't it be fun to have to hang with the stinking ex-wife and her sugar daddy stud at the hospital while my daughter's there for a month-long stay!!

3. Getting laid off. Yeah, that's a distinct possiblity that this job could get axed. The few projects i'm working on will most likely not get approved, and then what?? Bye-bye!!

4. Death of immediate family. It won't be long before everyone i've grown up around, like parents and favorite aunts/uncles, start croaking. They're all in their 80's already. How much longer do you got at that age??

I could go on......but I think the pervasive pessimism gets thru.

On a positive note, hey, at least there's a Slayer gig coming up in February.

Let's all raise a glass to 2007......the YEAR OF LOSE!!!

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