Friday, February 09, 2007

Valentine Bullshit

And now, fellow losers, we approach the most dreaded and ridiculous holiday of them all....valentines day. Yeah, we all know that it's a Hallmark holiday, simply made up to allow retailers to cash in during the post-Xmas winter lull. Hell, Easter is too far away, gotta fill it up with some ridiculous holiday!! The way I look at it, if I don't get a day off from work, it's not a holiday.

Now, for most losers, the point is moot because you don't have a chick to worry about anyway. You can simply go home and watch TV like any other night of lose.
If you do have some slut, then you need to buy her stuff. That's the only way you'll get laid later on. It's basically prostitution, only "cloaked" to be somehow acceptable. You will have to tell her how much you "love" her. Yeah, I love you baby. Now give me head. It cracks me up how ridiculous the whole thing is. Whatever the case, either flowers, dinner, jewelry, will need to shell out cash, and a lot of it.

The real dreaded part is having to deal with the inevitable "where are we going from here?" discussion. They will always pull that one out on such occasions. "I can't wait forever" and "we need to take our relationship to the next level" are lines they will use on you. You know having the bitch move in with you will ruin everything. The key trick is to stall but be very vague about it. "Soon", "I'll not quite ready yet", and "Just a little more time" are typical responses but they will not work in the long run. It's a fine art and i'll admit i'm not very skilled at it. The best response would be "honey, before we move in together, I think we should introduce anal". If she won't let you in her poop hole, then bye-bye!!


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