Friday, July 25, 2008


I'm getting sick of all these winners at work telling me, "oh, you gotta get out there". Uh, yeah, OK. Let me explain just why all these self-help slogans and tidbits are complete bullshit. Want proof? Just film my life for a few weeks. You''ll see first hand. It would be the reality show that would make all other reality shows look like a fantasy land. Herewith are the lies....

LIE #1. "You gotta get out there". Well, it's not like i'm a recluse. I go to work. I go to the grocery store. I go to the mall. Nothing happens. Which leads to...

LIE #2. "You gotta make things happen". When I go to the mall and eat at the food court alone, i'm the only one in the whole court eating alone. I do a scan, there's usually no one else there alone, especially women. Everyone is coupled up. Same thing at work....everyone i'm interested in, is either engaged or married already. So just who are you supposed to make things happen with?? Yup, your right hand!!

LIE #3. "Someone comes into your life when you least expect it". Bullshit. I've been least expecting it for the last 20 years. Nothing has happened.

LIE #4. "You can meet women at bookstores". Again, bullshit. We've been going to the bookstore for like 5 years now. It's just a bunch of loser middle aged men in there, like us. There are no single women hanging out there. Any women that we have seen there are with their studs. All bullshit!!!

LIE #5 "There is somebody out there for everyone". Uhh, sure. Gee, maybe i'll find her by the time i'm 80!! What great sex we'll have!!

The true fact is, that most of these Lies are spouted off by winners who have like a week downtime between relationships, they have to do nothing to move from one chick to the next cause it just falls into their laps. Case in point is my buddy Josh who has women hitting on him constantly....when he dumps one, there's always another one right there to take her place. Absolutely no down time whatsoever. Same with chicks. Whats the downtime between studs? A week? A few days?? Oh, gee, must be tough being alone for that long!!!


Blogger Stooge Moe said...

There is someone out there for you. The only problem is she is 180 pounds and has three dogs. If you didn't have to have a trophy wife, you could be with someone right now. But you can't do it with a fat pig. All those years of Playboy have brainwashed you to think what you can have, but in reality can never attain that. The only way is to be super rich, get on TV, or be a professional athelete.

You're just too negative. If you have a more positive attitude, things will happen. Woman aren't about looks. They're more about the person inside. So if you exude negativity, they will sense it, and be driven off.

Go to singles dances or church. You have to go to places where single woman are. Going to church with your mom is considered "sweet" and woman will flock to you.

4:15 PM  

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