Sunday, December 28, 2008

Alex Lifeson Disease

There was this website I stumbled across called "DinosaurRock" or something like that, and it had profiles of all the classic rock guitarists of the 60's and 70's.
All the usuals were there like Hendrix, Clapton, Page etc etc. A funny post though was the one on Alex Lifeson, and it went on about how he hasn't played with any "fire" for the last 30 years. They called such a wimping out "Alex Lifeson Disease", however admitting that the original culprit was probably none other than Eric Clapton. Yes indeed, Clapton was probably the first one who went from Gibson SG's into Marshall stacks and 20 minute jams to total crapola never to return. I mean, the guy even did a Cream reunion and played thru a Strat and a combo amp like a real wussie. Now, this disease seems to be quite rampant and I can add the following names having this affliction:

1. Eddie Van Halen. Jeez, this guy hasn't put out anything good in what, 24 years??
His guitars suck, too.

2. Jeff Beck. Another one who seems to dabble in everything BUT real kick ass rock and roll. Jazz, fusion, R&B, what the fuck Jeff, just rock you wussie!!!

3. Brian May. I don't know how Brian allowed Freddie to morph Queen from the earlier rock sound to the pop disco band they turned into. I guess Freddie wore the pants in that band, eh??

4. Ritchie Blackmore. Ritchie probably gets the award for the most 180 degree change in musical direction, ever. And it's all cause he's pussy whipped by his hottie wife. I mean have you heard the stuff he's putting out in Blackmores Night?? It's like folk renaissance music!! And this guy used to be smashing up strats every performance!! Jeez Ritchie, throw her ass out and start rocking again!!

5. Keith Richards. God bless good old Keef. But listen to how "Street Fighting Man" sounded on Get Yer Ya Ya's Out, and how it sounds the way they play it now. It doesn't even sound like the same tune!! Better get some more smack Keef and get back the sound!!

6. Eric Clapton. They should call Eric "Satan" instead of "God". To go from the 20 minute workout of "Spoonful" in Cream to evertthing else in his career can only be the work of the devil!!!

7. Rick Nielson. I love Cheap Trick.....but gotta admit it's been all downhill since "Heaven Tonight" which was 30 years ago!! The hyped-up "comeback" records really weren't all that great.

8. Ted Nugent. Ted's too busy hunting to give a shit anymore about guitar slinging.


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