Friday, October 19, 2007

Matched Out

Well, now that my whirlwind one-year relationship has officially ended after a disastrous, ill-fated trip to niagra falls, I find myself in the cesspool of frustrated singles once again. To be honest, I really think it's just time to throw in the towel. The experiment of Lose was done, and the results ended in failure (did you expect anything less??). The experiment was essentially to test whether an average divorced guy with a good job and the title "Dr." in front of my name can score tons of hot 40-something divorced chicks who are sex-starved. Let the facts speak for themselves, to wit...

1. I spent about 4 years and over 100 "dates" before any remotely attractive woman would even go out with me twice. Now let's analyze this. Remember the Seinfeld line where Jerry says that "95% of the population are undatable!!!"
Well, that's pretty much true, in the middle age demographic that I am in. Face it, women don't age well. I would say that 5-10% of the women in their 40's are reasonably attractive enough that you would want to actually touch them. The just ain't worth it. Take a look at the pictures on Match and see what i'm talking about. Better yet, count the "datable" vs. "undatable" (that translates into "bangable" and "unbangable") and tally the percentage.

2. Now, out of the 10% attractive women in that pool, they essentially have their pick of the litter with respect to guys. So naturally they can hold out for the rich studs. The average bloke really doesn't have a shot with the "datable" 40-ish woman. It was a 1 in 100 shot with me, and it lasted a year. Do I want to do it all over again?? Go thru 100 miserable dates with ugly women, paying for their fucking meal, who think they are something special?? Only to be blown off by the ones that are even the least bit cute?
I just dont' have the energy anymore. It's easier to watch TV. Fate has decided I will die alone. As Candlemass said, "..please let me die in solitude".