Friday, August 31, 2007

More COOL DVDs you MUST Own

I recently found a site where they are selling bootleg DVD's of some shows i'm dying to get into my collection. Namely, the Green Hornet, Get a Life, and original Batman with Adam West. I almost went for it...Lucky for me that upon further research I found out it was, of course, a scam and run by some Asian con artists who only want your credit card number.

While I pine away for those shows, there's plenty of stuff coming out to keep me occupied in front of the LCD. Here's a few I just picked up and some that are coming out soon.

1. Outer Limits. This was a favorite of mine way back when. "do not adjust your TV. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical". Everyone remembers it.

2. Magic. This is a late 70's movie featuring then-unknown Anthony Hopkins who later went on to fame as Hannibal Lecter. He is a psychotic magician/ventriloquist who has a wooden dummy named Fats who takes over his personality and turns him into a murderous lunatic. Also has hottie Ann Margret who still looks pretty good and has quite a set of thingies. For some reason, I always find evil dummies a good watch.

3. Witchfinder General. This is coming out next month, but is a must buy simply because it has influenced countless doom metal bands, not the least of which is the band Witchfinder General. Hell, it has Vincent Price as Hopkins, the Witchfinder General, so you know it has to be good.

4. One Million Years BC. This is the one with Raquel Welch prancing around in a fur bikini outfit, dodging dinosaurs and getting hit on by the cavemen. Who cares that humans and dinosaurs really didn't exist at the same time in history......we have here Raquel Welch, with barely any clothes!! nuff said.

5. Frankenstein. This is the made for TV movie produced by Dan Curtis of Dark Shadows fame. I remember watching this on late night TV. Bo Svenson plays the monster and all I can remember was that it was cool.

6. Fantastic Voyage. Again, a Raquel Welch feature, but she's fully clothed this time and shrunken down to be injected into a human body. Everyone remembers this's dated but still a classic.

7. Melrose Place, Season Three. Aaah, Melrose Place. Who can forget the anticipation of Monday nights at was the only thing worth looking forward to on a Monday. Jake, Allison, Amanda, Billy, Sydney, Mancini......things really started to get good (ie. over the top) this season.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Slutfest 2007

It's hard to believe that a year has passed, but yes, it's time once again to review the highlight of the Summer of Lose 2007, the event of all events, and that would be Musikfest, or as we affectionately refer to it, Slutfest. Do we go for the music?? Do we go for the food? No. We go for the teenage hotties. Each year, Slutfest rolls around and kind of marks the beginning of the end of summer. We celebrate it by first stopping at Potts for a few doggies, then heading down to Slutfest to smoke a cool Ashton Aged Maduro whilst sitting on the bench and examining the parade of cooze endlessly preening past us. Just like a bunch of old sex-starved perverts would do.

Once again, it did not disappoint. Those dopey indians were there, of course, peddling their lame CD's. We scored our favorite bench right in the middle of Main St. where the sluts congregate. The scenery consisted of the same pre-pubescent hotties who all are endowed with at least a C cup. It's really quite amazing. And they love to show them off, too. "Oooh, look at me! Look at my tits!! I'm so horny!!" The outfit of choice this year seemed to be the mini denim skirt, paired with one of them cami tops where their thingies just hang right out. Of course they all have the required flip-flops for footwear. The constant preening and touching of themselves was ever present, flipping of the hair, pulling of the short denim skirt, fixing of the bra straps that constantly fall down.....they can't keep their hands off themselves. If only they would use their hands more appropriately, like on my dick.

Since the Ashtons take a good hour to smoke, we had plenty of time to make our observations. Straight hair still seems to be the trend, we were wondering when curls might make a comeback. I was also wondering if they all shave their snatches. Hell, a hairy snatch nowadays is about as rare as A cups. We definitely noticed that those capri pants, which seemed to be the rage a few years ago, are now out of favor. Good. I prefer the mini denim skirts anyway. Who is setting the fashion trend this year anyway...."i'm a good girl" Linday Lohan??

So there you have it, Slutfest 2007 has come and gone. Another Summer of Lose bites the dust. Last year I lamented that it would be 365 days until the next Slutfest. It came around pretty fast. Let the countdown to Slutfest 2008 begin!! What will it bring??? Bigger thingies?? Skimpier outfits?? New hairstyles?? Hurry hurry I can hardly wait!!!