Thursday, September 28, 2006

Top 5 Albums of 2006

I know there's still a few months left here, and I don't know what's coming out, but we can always add some honorable mentions at the end of the year. But without further adieu, the Top 5 Albums of 2006 are as follows.

1. Slayer: Christ Illusion

No surprise here. As long as Slayer is around, the world is good.

2. Sword: Age of Winters

Almost forgot about this one, because it came out in January. Killer, bludgeoning riffing right out of Master of Reality-era Sabbath.

3. Wolfmother: Wolfmother.

I know a lot of my friends won't agree with me here. But damn it, I like this album. Probably cause it's the closest thing to vintage Zep you'll find lately. A dud song or two but I still play the hell out of it.

4. Pat Travers: Power Trio 2

See previous blog.

5. Celtic Frost: Monotheist

This wasn't gonna be on here, in fact maybe it should be tied with the new Mastodon. But I played it the other night at full volume, and man, it just pulverizes you. Pure of the best doom records since early Cathedral. All the songs are about death and decay, too. What more do you want to cheer up??

Greatest Scientist of All Time

While we're on the "greatest" kick, I thought i'd post on the greatest scientist who ever lived.

Of course just about everybody will say it is Einstein. But I disagree. Yeah, he was a monster, no doubt about it. Space is curved!! Gravity is the warping of spacetime!! Time slows down as you approach the speed of light!! Mass and energy are interconvertible!! Heavy, heavy stuff. But I maintain that the physicists always get more recognition just because the stuff is math heavy, and the common person goes, "oooh, look at all the math!!" Einstein is definitely up there, but he's not the greatest.

Possibly greater than Einstein was Newton. I mean, the dude invented calculus just to be able to figure out some of his equations. And I hear he was a real bastard, too. But if Newton was around today he'd probably make Einstein look like a 3rd grader.

How about Aristotle?? Nah, he spent too much time hanging out with boys. Those wacky Greeks.

How about Shrodinger? The dude was instrumental in devising quantum mechanics, the currently accepted model of particle physics.

I'm sick of the physicists, though. No, the greatest scientist of all time is not a physicist. In fact, there's probably not a single equation in all his work. I dont' think he even did an experiment in a laboratory, ever. All he did was look around and observe.

I'm talking about Charles Darwin. The greatest.

Darwin figured out the most important question of all time....who is man. He figured out why we are here and how we got here.

And people STILL can't accept it. It can't be true!! There has to be a meaning, a purpose!! We were put here for a reason!! It's still on trial. It's still being refuted. Even DNA sequence homology isn't enough for some people.

I've got news for you, Darwin is right.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Greatest Albums of All Time, Part 2

51. Status Quo-Live
52. Foghat-Live
53. Mastodon-Leviathan
54. King Diamond-Abigail
55. Witchfinder General-Death Penalty
56. Pentagram-Day of Reckoning
57. Riot-Fire Down Under
58. Damned-Damned Damned Damned
59. Black Flag-Damaged
60. Ted Nugent-Double Live Gonzo
61. Savatage-Sirens
62. Exciter-Heavy Metal Maniac
63. Black Oak Arkansas-Raunch and Roll Live
64. Sir Lord Baltimore-Kingdom Come
65. Godz-Godz
66. Mahogany Rush-Live
67. Pat Travers-Power Trio 2
68. Manowar-Battle Hymns
69. Angel Witch-Angel Witch
70. ZZ Top-Tres Hombres
71. Witchery-Symphony for the Devil
72. Action Swingers-Decimation Blvd.
73. New Bomb Turks-Destroy Oh Boy
74. Moving Targets-Burning in Water
75. Ten Years After-Recorded Live
76. Johnny Winter-Captured Live
77. Rory Gallagher-Stage Struck
78. Starz-Starz
79. Blue Cheer-Outside Inside
80. Blue Oyster Cult-Tyranny and Mutation
81. Outlaws-Bring it Back Alive
82. Blackfoot-Highway Song Live
83. Cactus-Anthology
84. Bloodrock-Live
85. Aerosmith-Rocks
86. Stone Temple Pilots-Core
87. Scorpions-Tokyo Tapes
88. Savage-Loose and Lethal
89. SOD-Speak English or Die
90. Robin Trower-Bridge of Sighs
91. Kyuss-Welcome to Sky Valley
92. Pearl Jam-Vs.
93. Cathedral-Ethereal Mirror
94. Slade-Alive
95. Hawkwind-Space Ritual
96. Electric Wizard-Dopethrone
97. Axis-Its a Circus World
98. Beck Bogart and Appice-Live in Japan
99. Annihilator-Alice in Hell
100. Non Fiction-In The Know

Notice how i've hardly repeated any groups. I mean, I didn't even put in Sabbath Vol. 4, Led Zep IV, or Slayer's South of Heaven!! And I didn't even put in Slayer's Christ Illusion!!

Greatest Albums of All Time, Part 1

I've always wanted to compile a list of the greatest albums ever. However, I quickly realized just how many great ones there are. There must be hundreds. So I will attempt to, right off the top of my head, list 50 of my favorites. In no particular order except for maybe Slayer. I'll try to mix it up, too, and not just list every Slayer or Black Sabbath record right in a row. You get the idea.

1. Slayer-Reign in Blood
2. Who-Tommy
3. Who-Quadrophenia
4. Grand Funk-Live Album
5. Who-Live at Leeds
6. UFO-Strangers in the Night
7. Exodus-Bonded by Blood
8. Sex Pistols-Never Mind the Bollocks
9. Nirvana-Nevermind
10. Rolling Stones-Get Yer Ya Ya's Out
11. Black Sabbath-Master of Reality
12. Thin Lizzy-Live and Dangerous
13. AC/DC-Powerage
14. Led Zeppelin-II
15. Deep Purple-In Rock
16. Metallica-Ride the Lightning
17. Judas Priest-Unleashed in the East
18. Ramones-It's Alive
19. Mercyful Fate-Melissa
20. Iron Maiden-Number of the Beast
21. Overkill-Years of Decay
22. Stooges-Stooges
23. Dictators-Live NYC
24. Mott the Hoople-Live
25. Allman Brothers-Live at Fillmore
26. Turbonegro-Apocalypse Dudes
27. Alice Cooper-Killer
28. Emerson Lake and Palmer-Trilogy
29. Misfits-Walk Among Us
30. Husker Du-New Day Rising
31. Accept-Restless and Wild
32. Raven-Rock Until U Drop
33. Who-Who's Next
34. Uriah Heep-Live 1973
35. Rolling Stones-Sticky Fingers
36. Cheap Trick-Cheap Trick (1st album)
37. Jethro Tull-Aqualung
38. Van Halen- 1st Album
39. Megadeth-Rust in Peace
40. Anthrax-Among the Living
41. Motorhead-Overkill
42. Saxon-Wheels of Steel
43. Queen-1st Album
44. Montrose-Montrose
45. Rainbow-Rising
46. Rush-2112
47. Sleep-Sleep's Holy Mountain
48. Ozzy-Blizzard of Oz
49. Trouble-Manic Frustration
50. Grand Funk-Red Album

OK that's the first 50. And that list took 5 minutes. At least another couple of 50-lists to go.
If you don't own all of these albums, you suck!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Dog Rant

I know i'm gonna get in a lot of trouble with this one, but here it goes.
I can't for the life of me figure out just what the hell people see in dogs. And I don't mean hot dogs. I mean the animal kind. Sorry, but I just don't get it. That will be the day I want some stinky animal smelling up my house, cleaning up their shit, and having them constantly annoy you "oh pet me, pet me". I do not need to be loved by a dog. I do not need a dog as a friend, I have plenty of human friends.
I've been seeing this chick who has two dogs. They are the most annoying things i've ever encountered. After like 5 minutes i'm ready to shoot the damn mutts. As soon as you walk up to the door, the barking starts. I've been there like 100 times, and still when I show up, they bark like they've never seen me before. Shut the fuck up!! They're constantly running around the house and begging for attention. If someone walks by outside, they start running toward the door, and the barking starts again. This goes on all night. And you can't tell me they don't stink, either. I can smell them as soon as I walk in. The freakin dog hair is everywhere, too.
It gets all over your clothes. I'm sure some of that dog hair came from their anal region, right after they just took a steamy dump, too. This chick says they are "so cute", but then all she does is shush them away and complains about them, too. Why do you have them, then??
You can't even sit down and watch TV without the stupid dogs trying to climb on you, climb on the couch, or bark at someone outside. It's a constant, never ending nuisance. If I lived there i'd shoot the damn things after about 10 minutes or go insane. But I don't live there, and don't plan to, either. It's not a trivial issue, either. She wants to live together?? Either the dogs go, or I go.

So there, dog lovers. Dogs suck. It definitely limits your luck with chicks, since most of them love the things. They're like children substitutes. "Oh, I need something to pet". Pet my dick. If you need to be loved by a dog, you need professional help, or you'd better work on your human relationships. If you like them as pets, then train the damn things to not be so annoying. Yeah, you have a right to own a dog. Just keep them outta my face and off my lawn, or they're fair game for target practice. And for godsakes, shut them up. It's amazing to me that people will clean up another animals shit. People are stupid.